Things I Do In My Sleep


I’m a sleep talker. Sometimes a walker.

Every time I go to New Orleans I get possessed. The first time I was taking a nap while my brother watched something on television. He noticed that I was shaking and twitching so he asked if I was alright. I shot up into a sitting position, staring him in the face and demanded, “what….” He repeated his question. Looking him in the eye I evenly reply, “Yes. But watch out, we lost a face that way.” I turn and lie back down peacefully sleeping.

The second time it was the middle of the night and he wakes up to me inches from his face, kneeling with my arms on the side of the bed, staring at him. He asks me what I am doing. I reply, “You can’t wash here. You can’t wash here. You can go away but your make up will stay. You can’t wash here.” He tells me to go to bed and I say okay, then climb over him and get into bed next to him, once again, peacefully asleep.

One night I woke my wife up because I was standing up pushing the bed around the room. She asked me what I was doing and I told her that I was trying to go to the bathroom, but the bed was in my way.

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